Getting sober can feel like a question mark. Who will you be? What will you do? How will life change? Can you be happy? Will it be worth it? Am I being too extreme? There is only one way to get the answers to these questions. Get sober. Here are some things I have done to get the most out of my new sober lifestyle.
Invest in yourself
I’m guessing if you sat down and did the math, you would find that you have a little extra change in your pocket now that you’re sober. Alcohol isn’t cheap. For me it would also lead to other purchases I may not have made while sober, (cough) Amazon. When I got sober I wanted to focus on my fitness. In the past I never invested much in money my health and fitness because well, I didn’t have the extra funds. When I got sober, I hired a health and fitness trainer. Investing in this trainer hasn’t only helped me get stronger and more healthy, but because I pay for it I am more consistent. These funds are now being spent on something completely opposite of what they used to be spent on. If you have a health issue, or fitness goal that you’ve put off because of alcohol I strongly encourage you to reinvest your extra funds into your health.
Get back to who you were before alcohol
I started drinking when I was 14. I have noticed that the things I loved to do before that age are seeping back into my veins. Writing, dancing, and creating are all loves I lost when drinking. I am leaning into these callings and finding outlets that let me reunite with these passions. My inner child is flourishing and I am getting back to the core of who I am. This happened very organically for me, but if you struggle to remember what you loved to do before drinking give it some time. My 14 year old daughter played a role in sparking that inner child for me. Spend some time with children and observe life through their eyes. They are the perfect example of living in the moment and having fun.
Grieve your old identity
There is definitely a rebirth that happens when you decide to get sober. About a month into sobriety, grief struck me one day while I was in the shower. It was extremely overwhelming and I sobbed like a baby. In that moment I realized that I was no longer the version of myself who needed alcohol to live a fulfilling life. I mourned the death of the old me, because without her I wouldn’t be sober. She is the one who woke up, and I had to honor that. It’s okay to be sad and miss your old life. For me life wasn’t terrible as a drinker, I just knew that I wanted more. There were good times but I deserved better. Part of moving forward and getting the life I desired required me to say goodbye to that woman who was stuck in a destructive pattern.
Sobriety has to come first
Every single day since I quit drinking I make my sobriety the priority. Which essentially means, my needs always come before everyone else. This can get tricky and you may feel you are abandoning the people you love. But to put yourself first only helps you be the best version of yourself for the ones you love. It can be an eye opener as you will find not everyone will like the version of you who now loves and honors yourself. These people will test you, and question your sobriety. This is when you dig your heels in and put sobriety first. Because their questions aren’t about your sobriety, but about themselves and what your sobriety means for them. As I write about in my blog “How I Navigate Relationships Now That I am Sober” Don’t let others’ insecurities bring you down. It takes a lot of courage and self love to get sober. Most people struggle with that and if you can set an example you could be the light they need to find in themselves.
Yours Truly Sober,
Steph
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